Un tanar de 18 ani statea toata ziua pe net: chat, sex virtual, site-uri porno, etc.
Intr-o zi bunicul, satul deja de ineptiile nepotului vine si ii zice:
- Auzi, nepoate, eu cand eram de varsta ta am fost cu prietenii la Viena. Am intrat in primul bordel, am mancat tot ce-am gasit pe-acolo, am ras toata bautura, apoi am mers sus si am f***t toate curvele, apoi cand am coborat ne-am pisat pe mesele si pe barul de la parter si am plecat fara sa platim.
Alui mic ii place ideea si dispare de acasa o saptamana. Cand se intoarce era tot vanat, cu mina si piciorul in gips ;
- Ce-ai patit nepoate, il intreaba mosul.
- Am fost cu prietenii la Viena. Am intrat in primul bordel. Am mancat tot ce-am gasit pe-acolo, am ras toata bautura, apoi am mers sus si am f***t toate curvele,apoi can am coborat ne-am pisat pe mesele si pe barul de la parter, iar cand sa plecam fara sa platim au aparut 4 gorile si ne-au batut de ne-am cacat pe noi.
- Auzi, nepoate, da’ cum te-ai dus tu la Viena?
- Pai, am mers cu Omnia Tours. Da’ tu bunicule?
- Eu? Cu rusii in ‘45!
Se afișează postările cu eticheta Turism. Afișați toate postările
Se afișează postările cu eticheta Turism. Afișați toate postările
joi, 17 decembrie 2009
vineri, 21 martie 2008
luni, 17 decembrie 2007
tratamente femei
3 barbati povestesc :
Primul:
Primul:
Mai, cand simt ca relatia mea nu mai merge perfect, imi trimit nevasta 2 saptamani la tratament la bai in Grecia. Face acolo tratamente cu namol, cu ape naturale, cu ultraviolete cand se intoarce arata intinerita, zambeste mai multe, este radioasa! Si si noi suntem un cuplu mai fericit!
Al doilea:
Mai si eu, o data pe an imi trimit sotia la o statiune de munte in Austria. Face acolo tratamente naturiste, diete naturale, aer curat, apa de munte, ozon. Se intoarce dupa doua saptamani mult mai radioasa, cu pofta de viata, si noi suntem un cuplu mai fericit!
Al treilea:
Al treilea:
Bah, ... nu stiu. Eu unul imi "reglez" singur nevasta
miercuri, 21 noiembrie 2007
Masina ideala | Sondaj auto
Soferii rusii sunt intrebati:
Cu ce masina calatoriti prin oras?
Raspuns: cu Lada!
Cu ce masina calatoriti la vila ?
Cu Moskvici!
Cu ce masina calatoriti la mare?
Cu Volga!
Si cu ce masina calatoriti in strainatate?
Cu tancurile!
www.powerchip.ro Servicii de chip tuning si remapare prin OBD sau |
marți, 24 iulie 2007
Mesaje Atentionare
Mesaje, instructiuni, anuntunturi si indicatii romanesti si internationale
La o casa de batrani din Sacele, Brasov:
"Va rugam folositi periile de WC cu incredere"
La un restaurant/terasa in Russel Square, Londra:
"Mind your plate.We will not replace any food eaten by the pigeons"
La un restaurant de sosea intre Oradea - Cluj:
"Va rugam pastrati curatenia. Este un apel la constiinta dumneavoastra. Stim ca nu ne veti dezamagi"
La unfeldelocciudat in toaleta (gaura in podea) Valencia, Spania:
"In order to avoid getting drunk, drink a glass of water every time you pee"
Si acum plagiem
Cocktail Lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest Zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD.
Doctor’s Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE, THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.
Dry Cleaner’s, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
Sign in men’s rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
On an Athi River Highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
One of the Mathare buildings:
MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
A sign seen on an automatic restroom handdryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
Tokyo Hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE PROHIBITED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
Hotel Notice: Tokyo:
IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING, PLEASE NOT TO HAVE NOTICED.
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Hotel Room Notice: Chaing-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Hotel Brochure: Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel Lobby, Bucharest:
THIS LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Hotel Elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
Hotel Yugoslavia:
THE FLATENNING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
Taken from a menu, Poland:
SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.
Supermarket, Hongkong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
From a Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERSAND SCULPTORS. THESE WHERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IN RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
Hotel Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICKLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BED ROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
An advertisement by a Hongkong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVER CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY – NO ICE CREAM.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
"Va rugam folositi periile de WC cu incredere"
La un restaurant/terasa in Russel Square, Londra:
"Mind your plate.We will not replace any food eaten by the pigeons"
La un restaurant de sosea intre Oradea - Cluj:
"Va rugam pastrati curatenia. Este un apel la constiinta dumneavoastra. Stim ca nu ne veti dezamagi"
La unfeldelocciudat in toaleta (gaura in podea) Valencia, Spania:
"In order to avoid getting drunk, drink a glass of water every time you pee"
Si acum plagiem
Cocktail Lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest Zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD.
Doctor’s Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE, THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.
Dry Cleaner’s, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
Sign in men’s rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
On an Athi River Highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
One of the Mathare buildings:
MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
A sign seen on an automatic restroom handdryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
Tokyo Hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE PROHIBITED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
Hotel Notice: Tokyo:
IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING, PLEASE NOT TO HAVE NOTICED.
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Hotel Room Notice: Chaing-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Hotel Brochure: Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel Lobby, Bucharest:
THIS LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Hotel Elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
Hotel Yugoslavia:
THE FLATENNING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
Taken from a menu, Poland:
SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.
Supermarket, Hongkong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
From a Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERSAND SCULPTORS. THESE WHERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IN RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
Hotel Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICKLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BED ROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
An advertisement by a Hongkong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVER CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY – NO ICE CREAM.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Sursa: Carlatoria
miercuri, 18 aprilie 2007
Italian tourist in London
Dear Signore Dirrettore
Now I am tella you a strory how I was treated at your hotella.
I am comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as y younga
christian man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is
no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla
down to receptione and tella: 'I wanna shit!' They tella me:
'Go to toilet'. I say 'no, no. I wanna shit in my bed.' They say:
'You better not shit in your bed you sonnawabitch!' What is a
sonnawabitch?
I go down for breackfast into ristorante, I order bacon and eggs and
two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress,
and pointa of toast: 'I wanna piss'. She tella me 'go to toilet'. I
say: 'No, no. I wanna piss on my plate!'. She then say to me: 'You
bloody hella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch!' What is a
sonnawabitch?
Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid
out, but no fock. I tella waitress: 'I wanna fock!' and she tella me:
'Sure everybody wanna fock!' I tella her: 'no no. You dont understand
me. I wanna fock on the table!' She tella me: 'So you sonnawabitch
wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outa here!'
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this
hotella no more. When I heve paid the billa, the portier sy to me:
'Thank you and peace on you'. I say: 'Piss on you too, you
sonnawabitch! I go back to Italy ! I never comma saty at your hotella,'
your sonnawabitch!
SINCERELY
tks to Nika
sâmbătă, 14 aprilie 2007
turism in jamaica
Un tanar indragostit,a hotarat intr-o buna zi,sa-si tatueze numele prietenei sale WENDY pe penisul lui.
In stare normala se vedeau doar literele WY ,iar cand era sculat se putea citi numele intreg, WENDY .
Intr-o buna zi,baiatul face concediu cu Wendy pe Jamaika
A fost o placere sa vezi ce bine se amuza Wendy.
Intr-o zi trebuia baiatul sa mearga la WC-ul strandu-lui
Timp ce facea treaba mica,vede langa el ocupat cu aceeasi treaba un tip negru,si curios se uita la penisul vecinului,
Si vede ca scrie tot: WY
Hei! Prietena ta se numeste tot WENDY?
Negrul raspunde ca n-are prietena,e ghid turistic pe insula.
“Dar de ce-mi pui aceasta intrebare” ?
Am vazut pe penisul tau literele WY , si pe al meu sta scris WY.
Dar cand e sculat se poate citi- WENDY.
Negrul ii spune,ah nu,pe al meu cand e sculat se poate citi:
"WELCOME TO JAMAICA, THANKS FOR YOUR VISIT AND HAVE A NICE DAY"
In stare normala se vedeau doar literele WY ,iar cand era sculat se putea citi numele intreg, WENDY .
Intr-o buna zi,baiatul face concediu cu Wendy pe Jamaika
A fost o placere sa vezi ce bine se amuza Wendy.
Intr-o zi trebuia baiatul sa mearga la WC-ul strandu-lui
Timp ce facea treaba mica,vede langa el ocupat cu aceeasi treaba un tip negru,si curios se uita la penisul vecinului,
Si vede ca scrie tot: WY
Hei! Prietena ta se numeste tot WENDY?
Negrul raspunde ca n-are prietena,e ghid turistic pe insula.
“Dar de ce-mi pui aceasta intrebare” ?
Am vazut pe penisul tau literele WY , si pe al meu sta scris WY.
Dar cand e sculat se poate citi- WENDY.
Negrul ii spune,ah nu,pe al meu cand e sculat se poate citi:
"WELCOME TO JAMAICA, THANKS FOR YOUR VISIT AND HAVE A NICE DAY"
sâmbătă, 31 martie 2007
ghicitori
O blonda se duce la un hotel sa-si ia o camera peste noapte.
Receptionerul ii spune ca nu mai are decat un pat liber, dar cu trei barbati in camera.
Receptionerul ii spune ca nu mai are decat un pat liber, dar cu trei barbati in camera.
Fiind iarna si neavand unde sa doarma
accepta.
In camera unul dintre ce trei ii propune un joc.
accepta.
In camera unul dintre ce trei ii propune un joc.
Daca raspundea
corect la o ghicitoare:
corect la o ghicitoare:
"ce e mica, are coada, rontaie alune, si
traieste in padure?" o vor lasa sa doarma.
traieste in padure?" o vor lasa sa doarma.
Daca nu ...
Dimineata femeia de servici intra in camera unde doi barbati
erau lesinati, iar al treilea in genunchi se ruga la blonda:
- Zi veverita, te implor, zi veverita!
Dimineata femeia de servici intra in camera unde doi barbati
erau lesinati, iar al treilea in genunchi se ruga la blonda:
- Zi veverita, te implor, zi veverita!
luni, 26 martie 2007
folclor romanesc
Un turist englez pleaca in vacanta prin Carpati sa culeaga folclor romanesc.
Ajunge intr-o pajiste mioritica unde un cioban canta duios din fluier.
Englezul asculta uimit de dibacia baciului si can asta isi termina doina isi rasfoieste ghidul de conversatie si-i zice:
- Tu cantat forte frumos, badje!....
La care baciul:
-Yes, I like music
- Tu cantat forte frumos, badje!....
La care baciul:
-Yes, I like music
duminică, 25 martie 2007
turism in romania
- Ale matale-s oile? intreaba un turist pe un cioban.
- Incontestabil.
- Ia te uita!!! Si le duci la pascut?
- Nu. La autofurajare.
vineri, 24 februarie 2006
pentru a servi femeilor
O femeie tanara ia
avionul spre casa din Elvetia.
In avion, alaturi de ea ia loc un preot caruia i se adreseaza imediat:
-Ma scuzati, Parinte, mi-ati face un mare serviciu ?
-Desigur, Copila mea, cu ce te-as putea ajuta ?
-Mi-am cumparat un depilator electric excelent; am platit foarte mult
pentru el. Depaseste cu mult limita de valoare a scutirii de vama si ma tem ca
mi-l confisca. Dar dumneavoastra, Parinte, ati putea sa-l treceti la vama
ascunzandu-l sub reverenda.
- Cu adevarat,
as putea sa-l trec, dar te previn ca inca niciodata n-am fost in stare sa
mintesc.
- Dar dumneavoastra aveti o fatza atat de cinstita incat nici asa nu vor
intreba nimic - spuse tanara si dadu depilatorul preotului descumpanit.
Dupa aterizare
la vama:
- Parinte, aveti ceva
de vamuit ? - intreaba ofiterul vamal.
- Din crestet pana la brau n-am nimic de vamuit, fiule.
Acest raspuns bizar trezeste suspiciunea vamesului asa ca intreaba mai departe:
- Si sub brau ?
- Pai am ceva magnific facut pentru a servi femeilor, dar nu a fost folosit inca niciodata.
Vamesul rade cu
lacrimi:
-In regula, treceti mai departe! Urmatorul !
vineri, 17 februarie 2006
Promotie
Promotii
Trimite 3 capace de sicriu si poti castiga o excursie pe lumea cealalta!
Razuieste ceara de pe 3 lumanari , trimite sms la ___ si poti castiga o inmormantare gratuita la Paris !
miercuri, 1 februarie 2006
emigrare
Un om in varsta doreste sa emigreze.
La completarea
formalitatilor, este intrebat de catre oficialitati de ce.
- Datorita homosexualitatii...
- Cum asa?
- Pai, in timpul nazistilor se pedepsea chiar cu
moartea, dupa aceea cu inchisoare, iar acum este permisa prin lege.
As dori sa emigrez pina nu devine obligatorie.
formalitatilor, este intrebat de catre oficialitati de ce.
- Datorita homosexualitatii...
- Cum asa?
- Pai, in timpul nazistilor se pedepsea chiar cu
moartea, dupa aceea cu inchisoare, iar acum este permisa prin lege.
As dori sa emigrez pina nu devine obligatorie.
joi, 12 ianuarie 2006
engleza a la ion iliescu
Iliescu ajunge in delagatie la Bruxelles, se cazeaza la un hotel de patru stele si suna la room-service:
-TU TI TU TU TU TU
Cei de la room-service, innebuniti ca nu inteleg nimic, suna la ambasada Romaniei si cer un translator.
Sosit in mare graba, translatorul a rezolvat rapid dilema: Iliescu iar
a vorbit "in engleza" si a cerut doua ceaiuri la (camera) 222
-TU TI TU TU TU TU
Cei de la room-service, innebuniti ca nu inteleg nimic, suna la ambasada Romaniei si cer un translator.
Sosit in mare graba, translatorul a rezolvat rapid dilema: Iliescu iar
a vorbit "in engleza" si a cerut doua ceaiuri la (camera) 222
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